The Colors of Christmas
by Nikaya
Summary: AnY Secret Santa collection and one-shots! Now playing, chapter 2: Shin-ah doesn't know how to feel about having true companions among other demons hiding within.
1. Chapter 1

"You want to tell me why you're crying?"

Yona gasped, making Ao jump and land on his back at her feet. She put a hand over her chest. "Jaeha… I'm sorry, did I wake you?" Her eyes widened. "Did I wake anyone else?"

He simply shook his head and sat down beside her, leaning back on his hands. He looked out over the grassy hillside lit beneath the moon and stars. After a moment he asked, "Well?"

Yona tore her gaze away from him and looked down at her knees. Ao sat up and shook off his disorientation, crawling up onto Yona's knee, directly in her sight. She smirked and pet him on the head with one hand. She smiled faded when she squeezed the object in her other hand. "It's… complicated." She furrowed her eyebrows.

Jaeha sighed heavily. "It's from before all of this, I presume?"

Yona closed her eyes in thought. Then she lifted the hand he couldn't see, and held out the object before him.

Jaeha was a dragon by nature but a pirate by nurture. He knew this hairpiece was _valuable._ The pin itself looked to be pure gold with the ornaments made of porcelain. It was definitely hand-painted with great care.

But when Jaeha looked at the watery gaze in Yona's eyes, he realized it was not the monetary value that mattered to the Princess.

He pursed his lips, but before he could formulate a question, Yona spoke instead. "Soo-won… the new king…. He gave this to me just a few hours before…." She sucked in a breath as she curled in on herself. She re-tightened her grip on the hair pin and hugged her knees. A small, tearless sob escaped her, shaking her small frame.

Jaeha didn't ask questions. He didn't make a snide comment or laugh or pester her. He didn't flirt or claim to be better. He just looked on and listened. That was enough to encourage her.

"When the guards had cornered me… Soo-won was there… just staring… and watching it happen. I couldn't read his emotions at all. It was like… our whole lives together didn't matter to him." She sucked in a fresh breath of air. "I didn't call for Hak… I called for _Soo-won._ " She abruptly buried her face in her hands. "How… could I have not… not known…?" she asked between sobs. "Soo-won didn't care… wanted… _did_ … he killed him…. Why did I ever trust him, Jaeha? …I thought… I thought I loved him…. And now…. Hak…."

Jaeha gently rested a hand on Yona's shoulder. She stopped her rambling long enough for him to say, "I don't think Hak is the one you need to be worried about."

Yona opened her mouth to speak and closed it again. She looked back down to Ao. He cocked his small head at her and let out a little "Pukyu?"

"This may come as a surprise to you," Jaeha started. Yona looked up with a sniffle. "But Hak hasn't doubted your affection for him… not _once_."

Yona furrowed her brows again, trying to formulate her own question. She settled on one. "Why?"

That question in particular surprised him. He hadn't realized that Yona was more aware of what they were feeling than he originally thought. That being said, he recomposed himself and answered. "Because his loyalty for you is unwavering, dear. As are the loyalty of the 4 dragons."

Yona gazed away from him and out over the hillside once again.

"That being said," he continued, to Yona's surprise, "holding our power means amazing opportunity for you. But why now? Why bring the five of us together once more?"

Yona answered much faster than Jaeha expected. "I was thrown out of my home. The one place I knew my whole life. My entire family was torn apart…." She paused, and he could feel the specific names that went included in the unsaid statement. "But the one thing I still _do_ have is who I am. I _am_ still the Princess of Kouka kingdom. And I realized after fighting alongside you and the others that I owe my people the freedom they deserve. They deserve freedom from sickness and poverty and fear…. They deserve a good leader. Unfortunately, that means Soo-won right now, since I'm still just 16. And I'm okay with that. From what we've gathered, he _is_ trying to turn things around from the position he is now in. My job is to do that on a more personal level. Does that make sense?"

Jaeha smiled and rested a hand on the red-haired princess' head. "I don't doubt for a second that you have the best interest of the people in mind. And that despite your... _differences_ with the current king, you allow him to rule in the best interest of the people. I also have a deep respect for you, Princess Yona."

Yona smiled down at Ao, and smoothed his fur, making him happily coo into her touch.

"I hope you know that the rest of the dragons and I will follow you and Hak to the ends of this world. And Hak… well his loyalty to you may as well make him one of us dragons."

Yona's cheeks flushed, but to Jaeha's surprise once again, she did not fluster or deny it. She just smiled again. And that was something Jaeha could respect: confidence in her comrades.

Jaeha decided he would ask the question burning in his mind through a brief explanation. "Pardon my not-so-subtle change in topic…" he started, side-eyeing her for a reaction, of which, she gave none. "I know from tonight that you have strong feelings for both Soo-won and Hak… albeit much different ones." This made Yona visibly tense, but he continued, leaning back once more. "I've seen your bravery… your cunning… your wit. I've seen you in action. You are _lethal_ when you want to be. So this begs the question…. What will you do when it comes time for you to reclaim the throne? When you feel you can rule the people as having lived life like a citizen to truly understand them? What then?"

Yona bit her bottom lip before sighing. "Soo-won has spared my life… _recently_ …." She had said it slowly, deliberately. Jaeha's breath caught silently. She continued, "I owe him my life for that. And yet… had it not been for Hak that first night… he would not have spared me. Why he chose now to spare me is against my understanding of him… if I _ever_ truly knew him… but since the two times contradict one another, I would say we're even."

Jaeha's eyes widened, but Yona continued to look out over the hills, her expression dark but unreadable. He could tell she was struggling to be cold when referring to him, but she was _trying_.

He noted the way her grip on the pin tightened and then loosened again.

Jaeha released the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "If that is your decision, then we will walk the path with you to the end, our future Queen of Kouka," he said with a halfway bow from his seat.

Yona looked to him then with a watery gaze. She leaned sideways to him and pecked him on the forehead. "I will forever be grateful for all of you."

When Yona settled back into petting Ao with a new smile on her face, Jaeha chanced a look toward the trees where they had been camped for the night. He nodded.

And just beyond the tree line, Hak smiled, leaning against a tree and nodded back to his closest friend.

…

I _loved_ writing this so much! Merry Christmas to shinah-the-furball ! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! The title is kind of a play on words but I'm corny like that :D


	2. Chapter 2

The morning air was brisk, but the sun's rays warmed the blue dragon's face as he strolled through the forest. Ao – on his shoulder as usual – was munching on an acorn. The pair were finding berries for the rest of the Happy Hungry Bunch's breakfast.

Suddenly Shin-ah shivered and stopped cold. He turned away from the presence and started running deeper into the forest.

He clutched the little squirrel to his chest as he ran until he finally came to a wide enough tree to hide behind. He stopped with his back to it, panting as quietly as he could force his lungs.

"Shin-ah? Shin-ah? Why did you run?" a voice called. Kija.

Shin-ah finally let out his breath and came out from behind the tree. Kija turned to see him, both dragons sweating.

"Are you alright? You ran away from me. I was coming to help you collect fruit."

Shin-ah gaped for a moment before turning away from him and pulling the mask closer to his face.

Kija frowned before stepping forward and putting his clawed hand on Shin-ah shoulder. The touch of a dragon's grip on his shoulder was something unlike any other sense he had ever encountered. But he didn't have a word for it. It just felt… _right_.

He turned back to face Kija. The other dragon was smiling though it seemed strained. "You don't have to hide anymore." he whispered.

* * *

The moon glistened off the water of the stream at the base of a waterfall. It seemed bright despite the time of night, but Shin-ah didn't mind the crisp air on his skin… not when he could be alone like this. Ao swam circles around him, cheerily letting out a "Pukyu!" every so often.

Shin-ah abruptly sank himself down into the water when he heard another splash beside his own or Ao. His mask! It was at the water's edge! He had nowhere to go but under.

When he could no longer hold his breath, he stood and gasped for air. Blinking open his eyes and looking down into the water, he saw the green scaled foot of someone familiar.

He started and tried to scramble back, covering his eyes with his hands. But the one in front of him stopped him with a gentle touch to his shoulder.

"Shin-ah." he said quietly. And the blue dragon listened. He stopped. "Don't run."

Keeping his eyes closed, he slowly lowered his hands from his face, just listening to the world around him. Despite the lids over his vision, he was very much aware of the older, taller dragon in front of him.

His breath caught when he felt the other's hands cupping his face, gingerly… _carefully_. He then rested his forehead against his own and said even quieter then, "I know what it's like… to be a prisoner in your own body too."

* * *

People. People everywhere.

Shin-ah was acutely aware of the city around him. But he mostly kept his eyes closed, following the rest of the group somewhere nestled in the back but in the middle to stay as far away from everyone else as possible.

His breathing was ragged, his hands playing with the hair of his mask uncontrollably.

He kept his attention focused on Yona, knowing that their leader would always show them the right way.

But what if he lost her? He had only just found the King again, or at least it seemed that way to him.

He suddenly couldn't breathe through his own nose. He started to breath with his mouth with shallow breaths. His chest started to ache from the strain, and he felt himself rip out a chunk of hair from the mask.

"Shin-ah," a voice said quietly.

His breathing stopped completely.

The yellow dragon had found him in the group, the blue's concentration on Yona breaking. But before his breathing erratically could continue, he felt an arm encircle one of his own.

Zeno hummed lightly beside him, some tune Shin-ah didn't recognize.

In fact, despite the dragon's intense hearing from _years_ of training to use his sense other than sight, he didn't know _most_ music he heard. Most of the time, he was hearing it for the first time. On occasion, Jae-ha would play something for them on the erhu or another instrument like he often does when Yona dances.

But the intimate sound of someone else's voice in his ear in this moment was something he didn't know he needed until then.

He started humming along with Zeno, his breath now under control.

* * *

When Shin-ah came back with his arms full of logs, he noted that the only one still present was Yoon.

The younger boy looked up and smiled at him. "Good timing! I was just needing some more for the fire. Dinner is just about done!"

Shin-ah felt his stomach rumble and he walked over, briskly, placing three more logs under the fire and setting aside the others. He stared at the pot as Yoon turned over the meat with a stick, feeling saliva build in his mouth.

Yoon glanced over and saw him watching. "Do you want to learn how to cook?"

Shin-ah looked over at Yoon. The other boy couldn't see his face beneath the mask, but Shin-ah's eyes widened. To convey this, he nodded vigorously.

Yoon chuckled before he began to instruct him on how to properly skin the meat, how long before you should flip it, what kind and when to add spices…. He watched the way that Shin-ah nodded with his comments, but he not once took his eyes off the pot.

Yoon's mouth formed a tight line, but took out a piece for Shin-ah first, placing it on one of the wooden plates Yoon had bargained for in town. He held out the plate to Shin-ah who took it swiftly.

"Careful, it's going to be really hot-" he tried, but the words were barely out of his mouth before the piece of food was down Shin-ah's throat. The said dragon put a hand over his chest and seemed to sigh.

"Shin-ah?" Yoon asked carefully.

He looked up to see Yoon's half-smile, offering him another piece.

"You don't have to worry about finding food anymore."

* * *

The crisp night air made Shin-ah shiver as he side his mask aside on the bank of the river. He bent down to cup the water in his hands and splash it over his face.

He did this a few times, trying to wash away the night terrors he dared not voice to the rest of the group. He was used to them by now, but every so often, they would wake him in the midst of the night, but the thoughts in his head were nothing some water couldn't wash away.

He lifted more water to his face, but he yelped, jumping back from the water when something sharp caught his eyes. Pebbles? Some kind of plant? Sand? He couldn't tell. His senses were heightened, not perfect… not supernatural aside from his sight.

He hissed in pain as he fell back onto his hands, now muddy from the ground around him. Ao squeaked at him, not knowing what to do to help.

"Shin-ah!" Yona. He could feel her before even hearing her voice.

He held out a hand. "Don't come closer!" he hissed. "I've hurt my eyes. I don't know what I could do." _To you_ , he wanted to add, but didn't voice. The last thing he needed was to scare her away. Or maybe that would be better to protect her.

But instead of having the chance to say something further, he heard her kneel in the mud beside him and take the outstretched hand between hers and gently lower it to his lap. She gently took his other wrist and helped him sit up on his knees.

"Don't be afraid," she said softly. He could hear her rustling something and water dripping back into the bank. He inhaled sharply when he felt something damp touch his face. He smelled it now, mixed with the damp rag in front of him, _blood_. She removed the cloth slowly and dipped it back into the water, bringing it back to his face and repeating the process until she was satisfied. "I think you must have put a rock by your eyes."

" _You_ should be afraid." he said suddenly.

He heard her silence before he heard a reply. "I can't be afraid when I'm with you or any of our Happy Hungry Bunch," she said in a sing-song tone. "I think we all know how much we're there for each other by now."

* * *

Shin-ah sat on a grassy hillside under the moonlight, not unlike the one of which Yona had given him his name. He smiled as the wind blew the mask's fur around him, with Ao nuzzling close to his chest.

He heard the grass rustling nearby before he heard a grunt as the figure sat beside him.

"What's got you out here all alone?" It was Hak. He chuckled. "I don't exactly expect a response, but I figured I'd try."

Abruptly, Shin-ah put his face – with the mask still on – into his hands. Hak watched in bewilderment as the dragon's body began to quiver, and his breath hitch.

Breaking out of his stunned state, Hak leaned closer to Shin-ah and put both hands on his shoulders, squeezing in an attempt to calm him and relax the muscles. Shin-ah shook under Hak's touch still, but eventually his sobbing became slower.

He turned to Hak. "I think – I… I understand now," he said quietly between breaths.

Hak furrowed his eyebrows at him. He nodded for him to go on.

Shin-ah sighed, trying to control his breathing. " _I'm_ the one that's afraid. I've been the one everyone has been afraid of for so long…. It feels awful to be afraid."

Hak paused, attempting to pick his words carefully. "Shin-ah…. What are you afraid of?"

"Being loved…?" he said, shaking his head. "I don't feel as though that makes sense."

Hak sighed, coming up next time him and resting one hand on his shoulder. "You aren't afraid of being loved. You're afraid of losing what you love. I feel it too."

His mouth opened and then closed again. He felt his eyes water again, and he once again let his head fall into his hands.

Hak took his hand from the nearest shoulder and moved it to the farther one, pulling Shin-ah in to lean on him.


End file.
